Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] If doing the right thing, even when it's hard, is a priority for you, integrity might be one of your core values. If you're always striving to learn, improve or challenging yourself, then maybe one of your core values is personal growth. If, like me, you believe everything should work out in everyone's favor and you hate seeing people cheated unfairly, maybe one of your core values is fairness or justice. Hi everyone. Welcome to episode three of Phase one, Getting to Know Yourself, a series where we dig into different topics for introspection, empowerment and authenticity. So what are core values? They are non negotiable beliefs that help you make life decisions and influence how you behave. Your values are the reason behind why you do the things that you do. You have core values. They influence how you spend your time, what you prioritize, and the choices you make. They help determine why you push to achieve certain goals while letting others go. Whether you invest in deep relationships, focus on independence, or a mix of both, and your commitment to health, personal growth or leisure, everything we do is filter through our values because our values is what we have decided is most important in our life. While everyone has core values, not everyone takes the time to define them clearly or name them. But it's important because they are lined in the sand, letting you know what you will and won't compromise on. You have your standard and you won't accept anything less. Knowing your values also help you live intentional. When faced with choices, you can measure them against your values and decide what aligns best with who you are, allowing you to be confident in your decisions. Before we dive into the five steps, I want to mention the hierarchy or values. I saw another creator mention this and simply put, not all values hold the same weight. Some are higher in our personal hierarchy, meaning they influence our actions more than others. For example, if someone says a core value is health, but they consistently prioritize comfort, like watching TV or ordering out the actions show that comfort might actually be a higher value than health. I'll tag her video and other videos that I watch down below. The list of values is long. There is honesty, connection, communication, love, adventure, compassion, power, purpose, teamwork, and so much more. And you will resonate with a lot of them. But your actions, not just your words, reveal your true core values. And with this in mind, don't feel bad or think you should have a value like kindness at the top of your list. Of course you prioritize and value being a good person, but that doesn't mean that it's in your top five. Now let's Figure out your core values Grab a pen and a paper or your notes app and let's figure out your top three to five core values together. The first thing you want to do is get an initial sense of what values resonate with you on the screen and in the show. Notes and description is a list of values like freedom, honesty, growth and compassion. As you skim through list, pick as many values that resonate with you. You don't overthink it, just go with your gut. This is just a starting point. The next step is to reflect on your past difficult moments, major decisions and experiences that shaped your life. Ask yourself what feelings or outcomes were you shopping for in these moments? For example, was saying no to a toxic relationship about freedom or self respect? For peak experiences, when were you most happiest, proudest or most fulfilled? Think about the values that were present in difficult moments. When you're frustrated, angry or disappointed, what values feel violated? And for major decisions, what guided your biggest life choices? What mattered most in those moments? Refine your list by keeping the values that align with your real life experiences and removing the ones that don't. For this step, try to narrow it down to about 10 values. Next step three is to look at your behavior in the present. Where do you spend your time and your energy? Look at your schedule, spending and habits. Where do you naturally invest your time, energy and money? And what do you defend passionately in conversation? The goal of this step is to see if your top values are reflected in your daily life. If they're not, are they truly your values or just values you think you should have? For me, I invest my time in journaling, yoga, working out, eating clean and other things like minding my self talk. This tells me that my mental and physical health is important to me, so I would keep these values on my list. If your values and actions don't match, then it's a sign that you should adjust your life or reconsider the values that you picked. After reflecting your steps two and three, you definitely should have crossed off some values, added new ones, or relooked at your initial list. Now it's time to identify your top three to five values by playing what I like to call the trade off game. Compare each value one on one. If you had to only pick one, which would you choose? The goal here is to rank your top five in order of a importance. Ask yourself, would I be willing to sacrifice one to honor another? And if you're unwilling to prioritize, you may be picking values that sound good rather than the Ones you truly live by. Lastly, confirming your values are authentic, consistent and non negotiable with the litmus test. I saw another creator use this test and it was the final step that I needed to make sure that my values were true to me. Go through your values one by one and ask yourself, would I still hold this value if no one approved? Do I stand by this value even when it's inconvenient? Would I be deeply uncomfortable living without this value? Would I? Would you give up this value for a million dollars? And do you see yourself still holding these values in the next 2050 years? If your answers confirm these values, congratulations. You just unlocked a compass that will help guide your life decisions. If the answers to these questions don't confirm these to be your values, do this exercise all over again until your answers confirm your values. Or comment down below for any clarifying questions. Just to give you guys an example of what this looked like for me. For step one, I started out with about 20 values like contribution, balance, health, honesty, understanding and growth. But in step two when I reflected on the past, I was able to remove values like balance and understanding. In step three, when I looked at my present life, my habits and routine show me that mental and physical health are in my top five. I focus a lot of my time and energy here. By the time I got to step four, I had about seven values left and playing the trade off game was not fun. Like trying to rank them by importance is crazy, but I was able to narrow down to five and rank them. Last year I was able to test them out one by one with the litmus test and confirm that they were my top five values. If you weren't able to figure out yours right now, that's okay. Feel free to ask any questions you have. Cool. Now that you know your core values, let's talk about the real challenge how to actually apply them to your daily life. When it comes to using values for decision making, you can now ask yourself, does this align with my core values? For example, if freedom is a core value for you, would you really take a job that micromanages you? For me personally, I know I couldn't be in a relationship or friends with someone that doesn't understand my need for fairness. Because what do you mean we can't find a solution where everybody eats? When it comes to using values for your daily routine, your values should show up in your everyday habits. If growth is a core value, are you actually making time to learn? If health matters, is that reflected in your daily choices? Contribution is a core value of mine. I make sure I spend one hour a day working on things that are going to help me share my experiences with you. Like this video. It's a non negotiable part of my routine. And lastly, when it comes to using your values to shape your long term goals, your career, relationships and future should align with what matters to you most. If you're chasing goals that don't align with your core values, then you'll always feel disconnected. For example, if connection is a core value of yours, but you spend all your time working alone, that's a sign that something needs to change. The truth is, you're either living by your values or living by default. When you define and name your values and start living by them, you stop letting life just happen to you. You take control. Now let me see what you got. Drop your top three to five core values in the comments or any questions you have. If you found this video helpful, hit like and subscribe and follow on your favorite audio platform so you don't miss the next episode.
