Episode Transcript
There was a time when my life looked amazing on the outside. Busy, successful, checking all of the boxes. But deep down, I felt disconnected, unfulfilled, and unsure why. That's when I realized I didn't actually know myself or what I truly wanted. Welcome or welcome back to True To Her Podcast. I'm your host Kina Shysae and today I'm talking to the girl who worked hard. Achieved all the things she wanted. Only to feel kind of empty afterwards or maybe she's just constantly second guessing herself right now. Wondering why life doesn't feel the way that she hoped it would. If that sounds familiar or you resonate with this, you might not know yourself as well as you think and that's why today we're going to be talking about 12 signs you're misaligned, diving into actionable questions to help you explore the ones that resonate. Breaking down why truly knowing yourself is the key to real lasting change. If you haven't already, make sure you follow and subscribe to True to Her Podcast on your favorite platforms, especially Instagram, so you don't miss an episode. Now, let's get into the first sign. You feel stuck or unfulfilled even when things seem fine. For example, you've achieved milestones you thought would make you happy. A stable job your own apartment, a good relationship. But instead of feeling content, you have a consistent feeling of emptiness or restlessness. Almost like you're living on autopilot. Checking boxes without feeling trulyconnected to your life. This usually happens when you live according to external factors or influences, versus your own actual true wants and desires. You built a life on what you should do Instead of exploring what you truly enjoy or want and find fulfillment in. Regardless of how perfect life looks, when you're misaligned, it's never going to feel right. You will always feel like something is missing. Here are two questions to explore if you resonate with this sign. Number one, if no one could judge me, what would I do differently in my life? And number two, what's one small change I can make this week to feel more excited? Sign number two is you're unsure of your values or what truly matters to you. For example, you feel conflicted about your decisions, whether that's your career, your relationships, or your daily life, because you don't have a clear understanding of what matters most to you. Without knowing your core values, it's easy to feel lost or pulled in multiple directions. Your values are your internal compass, guiding your decisions and giving you clarity. And without them you're bound to feel lost or confused and even stuck. Two questions to resonate with this sign. Number one, when have I felt most aligned, proud, or at peace, and what values were present? And number two, what qualities do I admire in others? Do I embody any of these traits? Sign number three is you have trouble making decisions without overthinking, regret or needing external validation. For example, you spend hours debating what you should do, ask others for their opinions, and still end up second guessing your decision afterwards. This is a clear example of you not trusting yourself or having a lack of confidence in your decision making. Seeking validation, in my opinion, is the biggest indicator that you are disconnected from your inner voice. If you resonate with this one, phase number three is definitely going to help you, but here are two questions to explore for now. Number one, what's one small decision I can make today without asking anyone else for their opinion? And number two when was the last time I followed my gut feeling and how did it turn out? Sign number four is your life feels dictated by societal expectations or other's opinions. For example, you went after a specific career path or lifestyle because it seemed like the right thing to do but it doesn't bring you joy. All of us are guilty of this. We're conditioned to follow a set path when we grow up. Finish school, go to college, get a job, and start a family. We're never really encouraged to ask ourselves, what is it that I actually want? Authenticity requires you asking yourself what do you truly want versus what everyone else expects of you? If you resonate with this sign here are the two questions to explore .Number one, What is one goal or dream I have that I haven't pursued because it doesn't align with others expectation of me and number two, If I wasn't afraid of disappointing anybody else, what would I pursue? Sign number five is, You struggle with frequent self doubt and second guessing yourself. For example, you hesitate to pursue opportunities or advocate for yourself because you're constantly wondering if you're good enough. This is an example of self doubt which stems from past experiences or fear failure. It keeps you stuck and prevents you from stepping into your potential. Two questions to explore if you resonate with this sign is. Number one, what's one time I doubted to myself but succeeded anyways? And number two, what's one small step I could take towards something I've been hesitating on? Sign number six is You're always busy but feel like you're not making progress on meaningful goals. For example, your day is packed with task and obligations, but when you look back, you realize you haven't really gone anywhere. Busyness often mask a lack of direction. People that are here, and over there and doing this and doing that are usually directionless, especially if they're not doing all of those things in pursuit of their goals. Because when you're not prioritizing your goals, it's easy to fill your time with distractions or low impact tasks. If you resonate with this one, two questions to explore include. Number one, what's one task I can eliminate or delegate to make time for what I actually want to do? And number two, if I had an extra hour in a day, what would I want to do with it? Sign number seven. You're not really sure what makes you happy. For example, when you're asked about your passions or what lights you up, you draw a blank. You can't think of anything probably so focused on responsibility that you've lost touch with what brings you joy and fulfillment. Happiness gets buried under obligation and external pressures, And to rediscover it requires curiosity and a willingness to explore. Phase one is great if you resonate with this one, but here are two questions, number one what's one activity that made me lose track of time as a child? and number two what's one thing I've always been curious about but never tried? Sign number eight, you say yes to things out of obligation or fear of letting others down. You agree to plans, commitments, and favors, even when you don't want to, because saying no feels uncomfortable. Overcommitting exposes a deeper issue like fear of conflict or people pleasing. Learning to say no is an act of self respect and alignment. The questions to explore if you resonate with this one include What's one commitment I can step back from this week? And number two, What kind, but firm way I can say no, without guilt. And just so you know in phase 2, we do talk about how to say no without guilt. Sign number nine. You experience burnout, or exhaustion from doing things you do not enjoy. For example, You constantly feel tired. Even your off time doesn't feel relaxing because your daily life is draining. Ignoring your needs and pushing yourself too hard equals burnout and burnout is a signal that something your routine needs to change. Managing your energy is just as important as managing your time. If you resonate with this one, the two questions to explore are Number one, what's one thing I can stop doing to protect my energy? And two how can I add more rest or joy into my routine? Sign number 10, you have difficulty maintaining boundaries in your relationships. For example, you let shit slide to keep the peace and it leaves you feeling resentful and taken advantage of. Weak boundaries equal lack of self worth or fear of confrontation. which we will definitely go over in phase 2 because there's no such thing as a healthy relationship an aligned relationship without boundaries, in my opinion. Two questions to explore if you resonate with this sign include, where in my life do I need stronger boundaries? And number two, what's one boundary i can set to protect my time or energy this week? Sign number seven is, you compare yourself to others and feel left behind. For example, when you look on social media, You feel like you're failing because everyone else seems to have it all figured out. I can tell you first hand that comparison steals your focus. It makes you chase someone else's version of success. The only timeline that matters is yours. If you resonate with this sign, the two questions to explore are number one, what's one accomplishment that I'm proud of that I haven't given myself enough credit for. And number two, what's one area I can celebrate my progress instead of comparing it to others? And lastly, sign number twelve. You notice patterns, of self sabotage or procrastination. For example, you delay starting a project or pursuing a goal. Not because you're lazy, but because deep down you're afraid of failing or succeeding. Self sabotage is rooted in limiting beliefs, we will be going over that in phase one. If you're avoiding something important, ask yourself, What's one fear holding me back? And how can I take one small step forward despite it? And number two How would I act differently if I truly believed in myself? These 12 signs are key indicators that you are out of alignment with your true self. The good news? Awareness is the first step so you can start making changes. Many women struggle with knowing what they want. And not because they don't want to, but because certain barriers make it difficult. so let's talk about the most common ones, especially for those of you who are excited to make the changes, or have tried in the past, but for some reason stopped. the first barrier is fear of change. It's scary to admit that you've been out of alignment because once you recognize this, it usually means that you have to start making changes. Whether it's rethinking your career path, setting boundaries, or letting go of relationships that no longer serve you. For whatever reason when we self reflect and we recognize that we might have to change We don't do it because we like to be comfortable. We don't like to shake things up. But I'm here to tell you that nothing can change if nothing changes. You won't have that life that you truly want. If you don't lose or let go of the things that have been holding you back. The second most common barrier that I've seen is conditioning. From a young age we're taught to follow a certain path, what success is supposed to look like, How relationships should function. and even who we should be. But what happens when expectations don't align with who you are? Like I mentioned in one of the previous signs, you have to have the courage to ask yourself the questions that truly matter, like what is it that I actually want versus what everyone around me has taught me or told me that I should want or who I should be. And the last, most common barrier that I see is living on autopilot. I am very guilty of this myself. Post college, I genuinely had no idea what I was going to do, who I wanted to be, and how my life was going to be lived because I was so lost, so used to just doing what everyone else told me to do, and living life how I was supposed to. I never asked myself the questions of what is it that I actually want until later. Eventually I did and that was around the time I was going through phase one of what I'm sharing with you now. life gets busy, responsibilities pile up, and before you know it, it's really easy to just be going through the motions. Trying to survive, trying to live day by day. And unfortunately, the world and society that we live in today makes it very easy for us to live on autopilot to just continue to wake up, eat, go to work, come home, sleep, because we are pretty much in survival mode. That's why it's up to you to make intentional choices to change your life. And that's why I'm here to help you with that foundation. Usually at the end of the episodes, I will have some actionable steps you can take, but this week I kind of just want you to look at the 12 signs and, highlight the ones that you resonate with and answer the actionable questions to get you started with what needs to change and how you can change it. Awareness is the first step, as I keep saying, you will keep hearing me say this, and clarity comes from reflection. I have put together a free checklist of all of the signs and actionable questions that I mentioned in the episode, all in one place. You can grab it through a link in my bio or in the show notes and description. Truly knowing yourself is the key to change. You can't create a life that truly fulfills you if you don't even know what fulfillment looks like for you When you understand your own needs values and desires You stop settling, you stop second guessing and you start making choices that actually feel good because they align with who you really are. You can have the job, the relationship, the apartment and all those things that society, and our family, and what we believe we "should "have. But, if it's not what you actually want, the relationship just isn't up to your standards or the job pays good money, but you're not happy there.. then you'll never be fulfilled or happy. So I hope you're ready for the next episode. We are going to be talking about core values and you will have a step by step to figure out what your core values are. If this episode resonated with you, share your thoughts with me on Instagram or leave a review if you feel called to. And don't forget to grab the free checklist in the show notes or the description to dive a little bit deeper. I'll see you in the next episode unpacking your core values.
